I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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