i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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