Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
My cat gives me a boner
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
