dude i'm inner monologue high
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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