; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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