and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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