Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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