I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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