her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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