I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
