Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
