My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
