I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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