So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
