I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
