Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
