i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
