How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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