last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
