I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
