Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
