OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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