I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
