Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
