i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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