I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
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My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
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The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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