...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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