he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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