We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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