'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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