He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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