just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize