i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
FUCK WHALES
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize