How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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