I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
