Plan B is the new Plan A
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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