All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
me + whiskey = a bad person
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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