I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
splinters make it hard to masturbate
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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