She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
