he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
