Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Randomize
