Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize