There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
