You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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