Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
