butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize