Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize