thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
