This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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