k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
