oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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