just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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