Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
