Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
