Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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