I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
