Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
