we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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