I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize