dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
