So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
