I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
