barbara walters just said penis...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
