after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
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Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
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What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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