I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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