Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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