i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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